Review of the novel “Honour” By Elif Shafak

I just finished reading the novel “Honour“, written by the Turkish author Elif Shafak, and have so many thoughts and views to share on this book. The plot of the novel is sensitive, contemplative, heart breaking, real and nostalgic; I would say it’s a story that resonates with our own personal struggles in the face of social and moral restraints and dogmas perpetuated in the name of religion and culture. I might run short of words while expressing my inner feelings that rose quite strongly while reading the story. It sometimes left me teary and sometimes left me in thoughts, asking me to contemplate, reflect and empathize. Being an Asian, moral and socio-cultural restraints aren’t new to me; it can come in all shapes and forms: marriage, sartorial choices, conduct in private and public spaces, among others. The list is long and probably unending, depending upon one’s orientation and openness. The story is a concoction of search of one’s roots, search for one’s true love, search for one’s identity, search for the God, and the search for redemption and peace. Which one of these are you looking for? Like the characters of the story, each one of us are probably looking for all of them; we are sometimes caught by an immense guilt for doing something which could have been done better, sometimes caught by the fever of an unaccomplished and unrequited love, sometimes hit by the nostalgia of our birthplace and hometown despite being a place where one might have suffered the most, and sometimes looking for an answer from that spiritual power for all complexities of life. Life itself is a huge drama, depending upon where your roots are from. Death has been beautifully and subtly depicted as a way of deliverance, deliverance from lost hopes, unsolved complications of life, unrequited love, and unachieved peace.

Set in a remote Turkish village, the story looks through the eyes of the main characters: Pembe, Jamila, Iskender, Yunus and Esma. It’s a story of twin sisters Pembe and Jamila and how they perceived the patriarchal and rigid world around them; it’s also a story of Adem, who witnessed death, domestic violence and the stigma of being a son of a run away mother; it’s also explores the mind of children who grow watching the moral constraints and how they retrogressed or evolved their thoughts as an adult; it’s also a story of Iskender who goes on to stab his mother Pembe (turns out to be his aunt Jamila) to death in the name of protecting the honour of his family; it also looks at the brigher and sunnier sides of the life through the characters Yunus and Esma. Picking the favorite plot is next to impossible! However, as a reader, it’s the guilt of Iskender and his deep regrets during his prison time that touched my heart, as it makes you understand that how an action committed in a fit of anger can leave one devasted and lonely . Despite living so close physically, each and every family member steadily become distant to each other, leaving the innate trust and affection as a thing of past. It was painful to read how the societal pressure and hierarchical relationship between the father and son pushed the little boy Iskender towards the extreme path of transformation, both physically and ideologically, to gain reputation and not to get bullied and assaulted by anyone, even his own father.

How I wished when Pembe and Adem separated due to the truth that their marriage wasn’t love and unhappiness and despair as a result were spreading dangerously across their hearts and minds could have found their true love! Pembe deserved Elias, who came into her life like the sudden rain of pure joy. And, Adem deserved Jamila, whom he didn’t marry to avoid the stigma of marrying a woman who had been kidnapped and had no proof of her being a virgin. He ultimately committed suicide and Pembe died a lonely life in her birthplace. None of the characters can be painted as purely black and white. Rather, they have multiple layers and hues to their personality. However, they ultimately make peace with life and accept the end as the only way to deliverance, both spiritually and materially. I recommend everyone to read this novel to understand human psychology and their ups and downs.

Hither Kusum

Moomal and Mahendra – An unforgettable folk story of their tragic love

Emotions like “love” has always been my weakness and am sure so would have been true for so many people across worldwide. True love is comparable to a blessing achieved after innumerable sacrifices and profound pain. To achieve and keep one’s true love intact, people have to undergo numerous ups and downs of life together and build a bond of trust and fidelity despite all challenges. It’s always better to learn this lesson as quickly as possible before it’s too late to undo the mistakes and errors that can simply ruin a relationship. The love stories from different corners of the world have guided people in love since ages on how to not make the mistakes that can become a life-long curse. One of such folk stories that deeply impacted my mind and heart is the Rajasthani folk story of Moomal and Mahendra.

Moomal, the princess as beautiful as a fairy from heaven and as intelligent as any brave warrior, was hailed as the prettiest woman in the entire desert or probably the prettiest woman that had ever had the chance the see. The already seven times married prince Mahendra stumbled upon this beautiful creation of the almighty during one of his hunting sprees. Both Moomal and Mahendra fell head over heels in love right from their first meeting. It is said their first meeting was an unforgettable experience for them. They were simply spellbound by the innate sensation of love pulsating in their hearts. They eventually depart to meet again and again despite all odds. They were completely overwhelmed by their love for each other and would not mind crossing any limit or accepting any challenge to meet. Mahendra would every night slip away discreetly on his fastest camel to meet Moomal; this continued for a while and kept their love intact. However, on learning of Mahendra’s deep interest in Moomal, the king ordered the legs of the camel to be broken. Heart broken Mahendra and Moomal were simply unable to meet and had to endure the pain of separation. Thereafter, what happens is simply heartbreaking and eye opening as well.

A series of confusions and errors lead to a sad demise of Moomal. It is said that when Mahendra managed to meet again Moomal, he mistook Moomal’s sister dressed as a man for some some amusement as a man and left her place in anger, vowing to never meet such a self-deprecating woman again. Moomal and Mahendra due to this confusion and lack of trust were living in immense pain. Eventually Moomal decided to send a messenger to Mahendra to understand the reason for distrust; when she finally understood the confusion that arose due to her sleeping next to her sister dressed in the attire of a man, she rushed to Mahendra’s palace to clear the confusion. However, Mahendra still wanted to test Moomal’s love for him and asked his soldier to convey that he has been bitten by a snake. Such a bad piece of news was simply too painful to be endured by the already heart broken and despondent princess Moomal. She was unable to bear the pain and succumbed to it. Mahendra had never on this earth imagined that his mischief will become such a lifelong curse for him; he simply lost his sanity and wandered around in search of the lovely face of his beloved Moomal.

As I always say and many wise people have already mentioned, it’s necessary to talk and communicate our doubts and confusions with each other. Such confusions that occur due to some wrong information or misunderstanding are nothing but a play of perceptions and thoughts. Such falsely built perceptions and opinions can be corrected or remedied only by clarifying openly and trusting deeply. Though difficult in the long run, it’s the only way to experience a successful relationship.

Manifestation of the Truth

The past two weeks have been challenging…mainly because of the manifestation of the truth that the world is no more free. I have been spending my time at home reading and educating myself about the facts that we will like to not accept outright…rather pretend that everything, yes every damn thing, is okay and fine. This superficial feeling can help us in overcoming the anxieties that refuse to calm down. Well, as a follower of the Buddhism, I really do see end to the rapidly rising incidents of violence, intolerance, prejudice and other dehumanizing emotions across the length and breadth of the world, especially in my own country. I know everything has an end, for sure. However, to not act and voice one’s deep fears and concerns is equivalent to cowardice, a stigma that haunts the person till his or her last breath. Right now as I speak, I am sure, many might be silently debating in their own minds and might also be trying really hard to build up their courage to stick to their values despite all odds. It’s never easy becoming courageous, it’s never easy embracing kindness, and it’s never going to be easy to remain physically and emotionally sturdy even when faced with difficulties.

Man Booker Prize Winner Arundhati Roy’s fearless essays on the recent political churnings of India

Raghuram Rajan’s book The Third Pillar rightly highlights the importance of the empowerment of the community as an agency of change and development

Though I do not always agree with the ideas of the Man Booker Prize winner Arundhati Roy’s writings, her books are eye openers and a warning of a future that we might refuse to foresee.  While her novel “The Ministry of Utmost Happiness” has a poetic and heart-touching plot that makes readers aware of the world of the deliberately marginalized communities along with the striking changes in the Indian politics, her latest collection of essays titled “Azadi” speaks the truth without any fear of punishment. She without any hesitation and fear uncovers one facet after another of the current Indian government. She discusses the deliberate transformation of a socialist and secular country into a majoritarian country through strategic marginalization of the minorities, especially Muslims, by distorting the concept o citizenship and increased free capitalism. Though she might particularly target the incumbent government, she nevertheless criticizes the past Congress-led government for laying the foundation of free market that eventually led to crony capitalism and privatization of the national institutions. She interestingly highlights the way language has played a crucial role in the concept of nationhood and creation of a separate state. The unacceptability of the people speaking another language has been heavily misused by the political powers for their own gains, whether it is the colonial powers, far right political groups, nationalist political groups, etc. At the same time, I am reading the book named “The Third Pillar” by the renowned economist Raghuram Rajan. It seems both Arundhati Roy and Raghuram Rajan are ultimately aiming for the same goal, i.e., empowerment of the community though via different yet similar methodologies. Raghuram Rajan underlines the importance of the community in creating a comparatively much safer and developed society through collaboration and cooperation. Rather than looking up to the state for intervention, people should empower themselves to empower the society.

The novel The Ministry of Utmost Happiness is all about vulnerable and marginalized sections in tough political and social times

When surrounded by such writings, one is undoubtedly likely to get disturbed over things not working rightly. They force readers to question the status quo and the shortcomings of the government which are often masked by stoking religious sentiments.  The reduction in the proportion of affirmative action for the citizens should be a warning signal for anyone who cares for his or her nation. It is essential that political groups and pressure groups create an environment for growth and safety. However, it seems the world has been suddenly pushed backwards, with the celebration of the far right sentiments. It seems none of those progressive movements ever existed as the world seems to be once again divided between haves and have nots, women and men, white and black, etc. Sometimes I sit back and try understanding these changes and find no relevant answers. Probably, at the end, people want power, they want it by any means. The glorification of the man made differences and stigmatization of the natural differences seem to be gaining much popularity lately than even as per my opinion. We need to seriously reflect and understand the political churnings around us to comprehend the magnitude of the dystopian world  thatw e are walking into.

Understanding Margo Roth Spiegelman

Last few weeks have been quite enlightening… as the ultimate truth “solitude is bliss” steadily dawned on me. This realization leaves one feeling lonely and empty initially, but eventually turns out to be that truest companion whom you trust more than yourself. The innate quietness of solitude calms the mind lost in a maze of indecipherable thoughts and imaginations constantly trying to control our actions. You get to understand the beauty of nature only once accompanied by solitude and bereft of desires that tend to pull us toward the cacophony of living. After being indoors for long due to pandemic, I finally decided to take a walk to a nearby local bookstore and just purchase whichever books strikes as different, even if a bit. I selected John Green’s Paper Towns and expected nothing much, except an entertaining teenage story. Yes, it is an amusing adolescent “coming of age” story. However, never judge a book by its cover, as it turned out to be a much more serious stuff, though not every time.

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

The protagonist Margo Roth Spiegelman impacts the readers in a massive way, especially those who have always longed for solitude and have made all efforts to escape from the traps of a defined way of living. A defined way of living is kind of lifestyle wherein procrastination is discouraged and success means fulfilling others’ dreams and not those make us different. It also means proving success by ending up like every other old grumpy person around us, i.e., bored, frustrated, irritated, constantly feeling like a loser, waiting for death and so on. It also means becoming as irrational and mundane as everyone around us; you become so mundane that you mix up with the crowd by becoming one. But here comes Margo, like our favorite characters of any fiction, who is just too bored of family and friends too mundane to discover adventure. Their superficial life and fascinations simply bore Margo and push her to the extreme side of living. What started as a mere vindication spree against cheating friends and boyfriend soon transformed into a real search for her truer side through anonymity, invisibility and mystery. If you enjoy anonymity and hate glaring at the simpering profiles of people on the so easy to reach social media sites, this book might touch the chord of your heart.

It’s just Margo and her mysterious hiding , or better to say hangout, places that made this novel a good read for me. I simply enjoyed the way she hid the true side of her personality from everyone; in fact, it fascinated me. The rich, yet not contemporary, music taste of Margo leaves the feeling of nostalgia and the innate desire to search the meaning of life and surrounding through art.  One can also relate with the inner turmoil of Margo that she was in turn able to decipher through the classic poem “Song of Myself” by Walt Whitman. Finding one’s truer self and ultimate destination through a poem that encourages and inspires everyone to discover themselves and explore the unexplored makes total sense to people like me who continuously shape their thoughts through the chisel of thought-provoking literature. Every piece of literature enlightens readers by hiding meanings in between words beautifully adorned like a pattern embedded or woven in a carpet. The novel “Paper Towns” celebrates the concept of “solitude”, “discovering oneself”, and “taking the oft less taken roads”. These are not mere fancy words but true yearnings of the current noisy times when it’s difficult to lead a nomadic and anonymous life.

Overcoming the inner prejudices and attachments

My deep interest in Buddhism and the ultimate goal to become a Buddhist monk motivated me to start reading the history of Buddhism from across the world and prepare myself for my goal by understanding the key principles of Buddhism. It’s interesting to note how closely are  Zen Buddhism, Taoism, Confucianism, etc. interrelated in terms of philosophy. In the first go, a person might feel exasperated by going through so many philosophies that ultimately highlight and underline the same universal truth, i.e., understanding the inner consciousness through detachment, intuition, and meditation. Discarding the duality of the world, Buddhism propagates the oneness and encourage devotees to understand the truth by overcoming the inner prejudices and attachments. I am yet to gain enough confidence to state the principles and key takeaways of Buddhism without any confusion or doubt; I am fully aware that this entire process of learning and unlearning will turn out to be a long journey and have started preparing myself for any sacrifices and endurance involved in this arduous process of gaining enlightenment.  When I started reading the books on Zen Buddhism, I was spell bounded by the stories on the early Zen masters like the swashbuckling Bodhidharma and his extremely humble and grounded Hui-Ko.

Bodhidharma emphasized upon meditation/dhyana to realize the higher consciousness

What is interesting to note about Bodhidharma is his entire look and physique, which is extremely different from the conventional images of monks embedded in our minds. Popularly know as a blue-eyed barbarian, he is apparently the first Buddhist with a fully grown flowing beard. Whatever little I have read about him, it made his personality and approach towards life as a Buddhist monk more and more fascinating. As rightly presented in the later records, he was well know for his toughness and straightforwardness. There’s an interesting anecdote about his conversation with the fanatic Buddhist Emperor Wu during a meeting.

Bodhidharma in Fanatic Buddhist Emperor Wu’s court

The emperor under the impression that he has done the best as an ardent devotee of Buddhism by building temples, organizing assemblies, promulgating sutras, etc. invited Bodhidharma to his court and probed his take on his activities pertaining to Buddhism. The emperor, who till now was regaling confidently over his efforts, was surprised to hear Bodhidharma’s response. When the emperor asked earnestly if he has earned any merit by constructing temples, organizing assemblies, the blue-eyed barbarian simply responded “None whatsoever, my majesty.”

The shocked emperor further investigated about the main principle of Buddhism and Bodhidharma enlightened by stating “Vast Emptiness.” The concept of “Emptiness” as underlined by Bodhidharma made me rethink and reflect upon my current situation and work upon deep cleaning the grey areas of my mind by undertaking the path of simplicity and learning through consistent practice. As a lay person, I have been struggling hard for years like many until I realized as mentioned in Buddhist teachings that with the physical existence comes suffering. Like everyone else around me, I thought my sufferings will end once I get a job, maybe once I get hold of a plump job or win a lottery, etc. I also believed that people whom we love are always there for us through every thick and thin. I was too naive to imagine that the love between two people related through blood is unconditional until I stumbled upon the Buddhist philosophy.

Another Buddhist philosopher who has made a mark on my mind is Hui-ko or Dazu Huike. An ardent follower of Bodhidharma, Dazu Huike, as per the popular stories, apparently chopped off his arm to draw attention of his master Bodhidharma about his devotion to learn from him. Though the above incident has been contested by the early literature, I was deeply impressed by his take on learning. Once the baton of Zen Buddhism was passed on to Huiko or Huike, he started living an inconspicuous life among peasants by doing menial jobs like any laborer or a peasant. He justified his action as the best approach for his mind and learning. This also enabled him to emerge as a much stronger and learned leader.

Dazu Huike, as per popular stories, apparently chopped off his arm to draw attention of his master Bodhidharma about his devotion o learn from him

Many philosophers have emphasized upon leading a simple and anonymous life for understanding the true meaning of life. Apparently, the great Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu rejected the offer of joining the King’s court as he believed that the short-lived luxurious life weakens our capacity to endure the tough times witnessed thereafter . I might sound weird but I somehow totally agree as I find the concept of “material richness” to be nothing but a negative turn in our lives. I just can’t imagine myself always worried about my safety due to my wealth and being surrounded by sycophants than true or real people. Money has the capacity to make a person blind by numbing his or her rationality and inflating his or her ego.

A Voice from the Main Deck: A Book Review

Discovering lesser-known novels is like getting hold of a hidden treasure. Such books despite looking old and less exciting can turn out to be a real treat for a book lover.  They can influence the readers by enlightening them with lessons of life than none around then can offer. Recently, I had the opportunity to page through three such books. They have definitely added new meanings to my life and have transformed me into a much better person than before. These books enabled me to think beyond this ephemeral world inundated with toxic information and details. I suddenly felt far more human than before as I felt these books resonated with my emotions and feelings. These feelings ranged from sadness, despondency, guilt, joy, to innumerable indescribable emotions. I started floating in a world much safer and saner than that right now around me. In addition, interestingly, the voices and emotions that surrounded me were those that I so much yearned to hear and feel in every inch of my soul. I wanted to leave everything this world, become part of that world, and converse with those characters. I would have preferably just stood in a discreet corner of the pages and watched the characters in flesh and blood. I would have watched them crying, yearning, praying, fighting, and emerging victorious.

The autobiographical novel “A Voice from the Main Deck” penned down by a former seaman was an enlightening book. Written in the 19^th Century, it leaves a mix of joy and sorrow feelings among readers. One might feel blessed to be living in the 21^st Century when the definition of rights has broadened with the increased awareness of fundamental and basic rights. It can also make readers reflect and compare their current situation with the condition of people in the 18^th Century, especially those located in the lower rungs. The detailed and exact description of the condition of seamen on ships destined for war can leave one vulnerable from within. The fact that inhuman and atrocious punishments like flogging was a legalized and a regular method of reformation on ships for anyone committing a crime as small as drunkenness to as big as fleeing can leave anybody’s blood run cold.

The point to note is that “flogging” was not for everyone, but only for those who did menial jobs on ships. The living conditions in which these seamen lived will also make us reconsider any sea rides. On a second thought one might also feel that the world has not really reformed as inhuman and discriminatory practices based on one’s socioeconomic positioning continues in many parts. However, we fortunately have bodies and legislations to check and restrain such practices. The novel gives a firsthand account of the life of seamen; their tedious life schedule and work, unimaginable restrictions, atrocious hierarchical system of working, inhuman living conditions (such as availability of hammocks instead of beds, limited pantry, no correspondence with kith and kin, destined for suffering for the lifelong, etc.). The protagonist Samuel Leech succeeds in portraying his fears and dreams through the pages of this book.

Image of Samuel Leech

The wrongs committed on war ships were so many and so unforgettable that like others Samuel too escapes from his ship after a long wait and relocates on the American soil under a fictitious name and past. One needs to read the entire novel to understand the travails a seaman had to undergo, as they did not enjoy the freedom to leave the job. They also were not in the position run away easily due to the strict rules and vigilance on ships. The mortifying fear of being lashed like a street dog in front of hundreds of seamen restrained many from fleeing the ship. The absence of civilized rules on the ships made many tough and extremely cold from inside. Along with the daily dose of inhuman discriminatory practices and intimidations of ship captains and so on, the travails of war and unpredictability of the sea and weather further worsened the inner self-esteem of these seamen. One’s life depended on the kind of captains and officers on the ships; the captains who were much kinder gave more freedom and respect to their boys than others did. Unfortunately, there were hardly a few who were kinder and cheerful by disposition.

Flogging was legalized and regularly practiced on ships

The detailed description of the death and flogging can make all of us think. The sudden death of a seaman can lead the body to be thrown overboard. It gives me chills to even imagine that a seaman who a while ago was climbing and stretching the canvas of the ship might accidentally fall and kill himself. The unimaginable diseases and injuries witnessed by those on ships, especially seamen, due to the nature of their menial jobs can leave all of us coiling in fear. Like many undocumented seamen, Samuel witnessed a head injury that further worsened for life due to the negligent and inconsiderate behavior of a fellow seaman. Apparently, when Samuel was recuperating from a head injury, someone threw a bucket of seawater over his head just for fun; the salt in water worsened his injuries.

The detailed description of the rough life on ships can prove really eye opening on many fronts. Sometimes one should go back and read such less-read books to understand at what cost people achieved their freedom. It came at the cost of death, lifelong exile, separation from loved ones, unimaginable disabilities, and fugitive life, among others. This  novel will make everyone think and reflect over their life and stop complaining for lesser comforts and problems.

The Jackfruit Tree – A Short Story

With the exodus of people to the Middle East countries in search of greener pastures for earning a better livelihood, the entire village was steadily transforming from once picturesque village lined with lush green trees into a concrete jungle now only lined with gated residences deliberately adorned with exotic tiles and nonessential embellishments. These multistoried houses stood like sentinels devoid of any emotions, as if competing with others and looking condescendingly at those determined to not change rather stay relevant by staying grounded. However, the number of such houses was rapidly declining with time. 

One of such houses belonged to a retired school teacher. The retired Maths teacher lived in his simple house along with his wife, a few cats with black and white spots, birds that enjoyed chirping happily day in and day out, frogs, among others. Unlike other houses in the neighbourhood, this house was surrounded by a dense vegetation of wild plants. The house was simple yet unique as these trees and plants shadowed it from everyone. The teacher was raised on the socialist values and principles and hence enjoyed growing his own plants. The tall coconut and jackfruit trees guarded the house from those evil-eyed sentinels around. Whenever his neighbours returned from Dubai, Qatar, Australia and other places, they would  condescendingly advise him to chope off jackfruit trees as their fallen dried leaves posed a maintenance issue for them. People complained that they were tired of sweeping these leaves every morning and night. Despite innumerable complaints, the teacher was determined to never cut his trees. As a result, some embarrassed him, some ostracized him and some rebuked him. At the end, they collectively complained the local authority about the problems posed by the jackfruit trees. The local authority members came the very next day to the teacher’s house and tried intimidating him by threatening him of legal action. Interestingly, the teacher even then stood to his own grounds.

He was adamant to not live life on terms of others and was prepared to face any consequence. This matter remained the talk of the village. When the entire country was locked down due to coronavirus, the villagers were not able to purchase vegetables transported from other states. The villagers had never imagined that they would have to live to see such scary and unimaginable times. They were forced to survive on essentials like rice and pulses. With not a single vegetable dish on their table, like earlier times, they tried all means within their reach to add ome greens in their diet. They were forced to stare at their stupid box for the next update on the never-ending lockdown despite having money to purchase things. But the lockdown continued and shops as usual remained shut without any further details. Meanwhile, the teacher hardly felt the pinch of lockdown. He used jackfruits and hardly ventured out of his house. The neighbors out of desperation called upon him to share some of his jackfruits and coconuts. They sincerely thanked him for not succumbing to their rebukes and threats to cut jackfruit trees. 

Sometimes tranquil, sometimes playful

I

Her beauty was above all, 

Creases of uncomfortableness lined her face like the pink streaks in the sky,

Her unbrushed golden hair flew like a tree in wind,

Her trembling lips eager to sing were too shy to open up, 

But they bloomed like deep red rose petals with dew drops resting on their silky skin

II

She ambled with a straight back, 

And ran like a child holding her skirt in the field, 

Her eyes flaming like a fire held more secrets than the old mansion where she lived

III

Sometimes she played with grass by unconsciously entwining it around her finger, 

Sometimes she loved collecting pebbles strewn at the sea bank, 

Sometimes she strolled like a sea bird and left the imprint of her feet on the slippery sand

IV

Dressed in red, she often looked out of her window to watch the sea, 

Sometimes tranquil, sometimes playful, just like the sea floating within her bosom, 

She liked watching the sun drowning willingly in the sea waves expressing joyously their affection,

Affected by her magnetic beauty they rushed to embrace her in their arms, or touch her feet sinked in sand grains. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sight of My True Self

Is renunciation the only way to happiness? 

Renunciation of wealth, 

Renunciation of desire, 

Renunciation of ego

II

Surviving amidst emotions of all hues, 

Creating a facade to live up to the game, 

Accepting the unequal system, 

Nursing the wounded heart thrashed multitude times, 

Protecting cherished dreams from evil eyed folks, 

So, am I really happy? 

III

Tears often tumble down my boat-shaped eyes, 

Down my cheeks, 

To rest like a droplet of dew on my hand. 

Sometimes I hold them like the holy water in my folded palms, 

Look into the water that refutes to be still. 

To enjoy the sight of my true self. 

III

It’s funny, but true, 

Rainy and cloudy days make me look lovely, 

Walking in heavy rains makes me happier, 

Hiding under the bamboo shade and laughing over the broken umbrella lightens my heart, 

IV

Resting my head on pillows piled upon each other, 

I gaze aimlessly, 

I search deeply, 

I ruminate effortlessly, 

My eyes like a window swinging to and fro shut 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Strange Times…. Fantasies and Dreadful Thoughts

Time is flying away too fast, or on the contrary, it stands still like never before. I look for answers, only to hear nothing in response, absolutely nothing. Days now pass away in search for a “ray of hope”, which remains far beyond my reach. Bombarded with essential and non-essential information on the virus, I now know everything, thanks to the fourth estate that continues to make a scapegoat out of the common masses and divide citizens on man-made classifications, but only the exact time period when this pandemic should get over. I search for peace in between the chaos by disconnecting from the lonely and scared souls, least someone infects me with the fear far more deadlier than the virus. To beat all blues and dreadful thoughts, we make love at home, an unforgettable love. These fantasises help me in overcoming all fears and morbid feelings.

In the pitch dark room, with nowhere else to go  but just remain like choiceless prsioners within the four walls, we make love to forget and forgive. We give wings to our fantasies to recuperate from the threat lingering like the invisible shadow of death. We passionately kiss each other and embrace ourselves in each other’s arms to pen a beautiful story in such strange times. We wake up after a refreshing love making and whisper “I love you!” , least anyone else can hear, with so many people passing their time by remaining locked in their homes. My eyes twinkle again and heart starts to beat effortlessly again; it’s a nice sensation.  I turn towards him to caress his hair and bare arms. With a twinkle in my eyes, I emphasize, “Let’s make the fullest of this time.” Maybe rekindle the love that was disspiating away, or pen a new love story set in such a weird and grotesque context.

This pandemic is an unimaginable and inexpressible experience; it’s a test of human endurance and our believe in hope. I feel exhausted, both mentally and physically, by the news announcements and commentaries screeching unstoppably around me. I prefer retreating into my room to pen my emotions or sleep away  in peace. In my writing room, I feel more relaxed and human. I keep writing down my emotions and thoughts that surge with the passage of every day. Despite all relentless efforts, there’s no respite from this pandemic. We are creating history, a history build on human animosity, political rivalry, ruthless competitiveness and unbearable narcissism. The pandemic has been an enlightening experience for many, those who never looked beyond money, who were too occupied in building their mansion, who felt invincible, and the list goes on. I can see hope quite lucidly when I write and discreetly pray for this strange time to end.